In the previous article, I talked about how the previous Batman films fell below the mark in their ability to be awesome. So what can be done? We’re supposed to have someone be superhumanly badass looking, but that would require way too much work and money to pull off in a straightforward manner, if it’s even possible. So here’s what I’ve come up with:
This article is part two of the Batman series. Read part one here.
Who is Batman?
There seems to be misconception that Batman has no superpowers. I know what you’re thinking, “He doesn’t.” Actually, he does. Batman’s superpower is to look really really badass all the time. All the money, all the angsty whatever bullshit, all the martial arts training, gadgets, detective-ness, and costume have one purpose, and that is to give a plausible reason to why Batman can look so badass all the time. But the truth is, even if you had all those things, you still wouldn’t look that badass, which can only mean that Batman has been endowed with a character superhuman-ness to look badass all the time. That is his superpower.
About 3 years ago, one of my friends eagerly showed me a few sketches he found on Channel 101, a large gathering of poor quality webisodes pretending to be “television shows” made by wannabe filmmakers whose dreams consist of having their own show on Adult Swim or being invited to act or write for “Saturday Night Live.” My friend, who probably has the same dreams as the wannabe filmmakers, found the content on this site so hilarious, he was falling out of his seat while he was showing me the sketches. He particularly loved one show, called “The ‘Bu,” made by three guys who refer to themselves as The Lonely Island, and I was forced to watch a handful of this particular “show.”
If you’re like me, you have trouble compromising a vision of a character or universe you really like. For me, this includes Batman. No, I’m not some nerd who has stacks of comic books stashed in a closet. In fact, I don’t own any comic books. However, I somehow have an immense knowledge of Batman. When Christopher Nolan was tagged as the guy who would revive the Batman franchise (he’s also currently working on the sequel, The Dark Knight), you probably had no idea who he was. I did, and I was disappointed from that day forward. Sure, I had a gleaming shimmer of hope that the guy who made the snore-a-thons Memento and Insomnia might pull something out of nowhere and do it right, but the truth is he didn’t. Whether you agree with me or not isn’t the point, the point is that Batman has an image and essence that has not yet been captured on screen, and when we all talk about how “good” Batman Begins is, we’re only trying to find reasons not to be frustrated about how much they got it wrong.
If you hate your job, you’ve probably been busy trying to figure out how to go on auto-mode and get things done there while letting your mind roam. Except for a lucky few who have won the “life lottery” (trust fund babies), most young people seem to be forced into jobs they’re over-qualified for (office assistant), don’t engage their skillsets (receptionist), or that just plain suck (retail/data-entry). You’ve probably been in one of these types of jobs, and learned a few tricks to make it go easier (and didn’t resort to hard drugs). Given that you’re like most people and dislike your job as someone’s employee, here’s a little info from an expert and some pointers on how to master auto-mode and never put another ounce of effort into your side-tracked “career.”
Love and Relationships (Part 3): Communication in Relationships
If you want the answer to all the questions posed in Part 2, you’re in luck, because there’s one answer to all of them. Communication. Communication doesn’t mean “talking.” Communication means attention, clarity, and allowing for lack of clarity.
Love and Relationships (Part 2): The Phases Leading to a Meaningful Relationship
When does a relationship become meaningful, and what does that even mean? That mostly depends on the people involved and what they’re looking for out of the relationship. It’d be useless to discuss any specific activities that occur at any stage in a relationship that might be indicative of it’s progression, and unlike how all of us weened into the world through video games would prefer it, there’s no level summary after you kill the miniboss telling you how efficient your efforts have been or how many secrets you found. In most cases, you’re in the dark constantly, a soldier in the trenches. However, like a soldier, you can look at a map of the terrain, kind of figure out where you might be, and hopefully decide in a direction to take.
Love and Relationships (Part 1): An Introduction
Love can take a lifetime to truly understand. And sometimes a lifetime isn’t even enough. Maybe that’s why so many of us are pretty impatient about our love life, either rushing into or out of relationships that we didn’t give a fair chance for success from the beginning.
When you got your first piece of spam email, which for me was so far back they hadn’t come up with a name for it yet, you probably got really confused. Maybe it was for porn, maybe it was some mass emailing “advertising” they used to do back in the old days telling you about an awesome new website, back when people gave a shit. The point is, you read it. When the next 1,000 showed up, you probably wondered where the fuck it was coming from, read a few, maybe you even clicked on a link or two in the emails.
So you’ve had a hard day, and you’re heading home for some chillax time, a bite to eat, and maybe a nap. You’re milling about the house, winding up the chillaxation, and are about to prepare a snack when you look at the time. Why it’s much too soon to the next meal to have a snack now, you’ll just wait until then and save some much needed chillax time by doing all your food-getting at once later. So you settle down for a little nap, just twenty minutes, a responsible nap, the kind of naps that kings must take in between important acts of state delegation, the oft-termed “power nap.” You’re powerful and you’re napping, what could go wrong? Nothing, that’s what. You doze off.