Ready to throw away your risk-averse political statements yet?

Che Osama
T-shirts coming soon.

I kept seeing the image of Che Guevara on posters and stickers, people seem to be using it more as a stylized counter-culture bullshit rather than as a political statement supporting the passion of guerrilla rebellion. Then I saw a picture of Che’s face replaced with an ape from Planet of the Apes, and struggled to understand what the hell it was trying to say. (FYI: “gorilla” fighter, omfglulz).

9 Comments

Russian President Vladimir Putin will rule us all. 11 reasons we’re all pawns in his game of pure badassness.

Yesterday, President Putin announced that instead of disappearing into the night after his two terms as President are up, he will instead be running for the office of Prime Minister, the head of the legislative branch in Russia, arguably the second most powerful position in Russia (soon to become the most powerful?) (source). What does this mean? It means Putin has made Russia his bitch, soon to follow: the entire world.

Putin will rule us all
(Photo NOT altered). Here, Putin enjoys in quiet contemplation how his tremendous power will allow him new and unexplored methods of obtaining more power. Showers will become power-showers, salads will become power-salads with power-dressing and power-croutons, and unrelenting blizzards of silenced popular discontent will become Tuesdays.

500 Comments

Iron Man is going to rock your face off.

Most of the articles on this site so far are about how many pop culture icons and movies suck. However, those who critique have a responsibility to defend that which shows great promise, and I want to illustrate how a certain superhero movie coming out next spring will in all likelihood irreparably rock your face off.

Iron Man movie trailer still 2
The world just shit its pants.

26 Comments

The arbitrary over-use of the ellipsis dots [...] in emails.

I’m not a stickler on grammar, or spellign mistakes, nor do I demand the proper usage of the more esoteric literary devices [sic]. You’ll never hear me correct anyone on the proper use of a word or literary device in person, in an email, or even in IM. But god damn, I am shocked and appalled when I face the overwhelming over-use and arbitrary use of the ellipsis dots “…” in emails, IMs, and comments. Let me focus in on the epidemic of the ellipsis in emails.

Have you ever received an email in which all punctuation was replaced by someone taking a shit on the proper use of an ellipsis?

73 Comments

Most popular movie of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Ok guys, so here is the most popular movie of the year in review. The polls are in, the critics are both baffled and ecstatic. The #1 movie of the year also happens to have the #1 most popular movie star, it’s a double threat, a quadruple threat, a google-tuplet threat!!!!!!@@!! The movie is…

Osama Bin Laden is EVIL

Osama Bin Laden’s comeback tape. (watch it here) (the above is an artist’s rendition)

2 Comments

Tips for understanding health insurance pitfalls and lingo.

Here are some tips for young people and beginners on how to pwn the health insurance industry… or at least come out alive. Please understand I’m not a doctor and am in no way an accredited expert in the medical field. It took me about 7 days of personal research and struggle (which you can read about here) to gather and clarify everything here, most of it sifting online at different company’s sites, but also speaking over the phone with the insurance company reps. I’m providing this information here because I hope I can save you that time and hassle.

20 Comments

Music has officially hit rock bottom. (And no, Britney is not back.)

If you just watched the ‘MTV VMA’ 2007 show (an acronym which confusingly stands for “music television video music awards”) you’re just as bewildered as I am that even among the so-called spectacle that MTV makes of their manufactured celebrities, even taking into account the cynical MTV-resentful eyes that most of us look at the world of music, this show was not only painful to watch, but also boring as shit. But beyond that, it became somewhat surprisingly apparent that the music of 2006-2007 god damn fucking sucked.

5 Comments

My search and battle with health insurance

Of all the things that college failed to prepare me properly for in life, I think the biggest failing was not briefing me or at least warning me about how to get good health insurance. Unless you majored in health insurance, I think you’ll probably agree with me.

My parents always covered me under their work health insurance plans. It was great, they paid a little bit extra every month, and we all felt safer knowing that we were all covered under some group plan that offered awesome rates and low deductibles and co-pays. I heard of those words at the time, but I had no idea what they really were, and really, they didn’t affect me. My parents put up the money whenever I needed to see a doctor anyway.

22 Comments

Your health and your success

There are a few basic things that we all need to master before we can go full force in learning how to become and becoming efficiently awesome. The most basic of these basics, is your physical well-being.

CARING FOR YOUR HEALTH

If there’s one thing you don’t fuck around with, it’s your health. Face it, there’s no reasoning or arguing with it, if you don’t take care of your physical well-being, you’re basically screwing yourself from the back end of your life. Our physical bodies are a base factor that all humans must deal with, and everyone in human history has had to deal with it. Unless you’ve found some way to exist without being slave to your physical needs, you better take good care of your body, it’s the only one you’ve been given.

1 Comment

Oops, I stepped on your balls. Fandom vs. Familiarity Masturbation

Have you ever had the experience where someone goes “Hey, what did you think of [movie]?” and you, being honest, go “Oh yeah, that movie sucked.” Then the person’s smile slowly fades into a sober “Oh yeah, well, I thought it was ok. What didn’t you like about it?” Ouch.

6 Comments