Avatar sees with all the colors of the wind.

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Iron Man is going to rock your face off.

Most of the articles on this site so far are about how many pop culture icons and movies suck. However, those who critique have a responsibility to defend that which shows great promise, and I want to illustrate how a certain superhero movie coming out next spring will in all likelihood irreparably rock your face off.

Iron Man movie trailer still 2
The world just shit its pants.

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Batman:(Part 3) 9 Things that Batman movies need and are horribly lacking

In the previous article, I talked about how the previous Batman films fell below the mark in their ability to be awesome. So what can be done? We’re supposed to have someone be superhumanly badass looking, but that would require way too much work and money to pull off in a straightforward manner, if it’s even possible. So here’s what I’ve come up with:

Batman done well.

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Batman:(Part 2) Why can’t Hollywood get him right?

This article is part two of the Batman series. Read part one here.

Who is Batman?

There seems to be misconception that Batman has no superpowers. I know what you’re thinking, “He doesn’t.” Actually, he does. Batman’s superpower is to look really really badass all the time. All the money, all the angsty whatever bullshit, all the martial arts training, gadgets, detective-ness, and costume have one purpose, and that is to give a plausible reason to why Batman can look so badass all the time. But the truth is, even if you had all those things, you still wouldn’t look that badass, which can only mean that Batman has been endowed with a character superhuman-ness to look badass all the time. That is his superpower.

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Why I’m Disappointed with the Lonely Island Guys

About 3 years ago, one of my friends eagerly showed me a few sketches he found on Channel 101, a large gathering of poor quality webisodes pretending to be “television shows” made by wannabe filmmakers whose dreams consist of having their own show on Adult Swim or being invited to act or write for “Saturday Night Live.” My friend, who probably has the same dreams as the wannabe filmmakers, found the content on this site so hilarious, he was falling out of his seat while he was showing me the sketches. He particularly loved one show, called “The ‘Bu,” made by three guys who refer to themselves as The Lonely Island, and I was forced to watch a handful of this particular “show.”

The Lonely Island, shitty

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Batman. No, Batman Begins didn’t do it right either and here’s why.

If you’re like me, you have trouble compromising a vision of a character or universe you really like. For me, this includes Batman. No, I’m not some nerd who has stacks of comic books stashed in a closet. In fact, I don’t own any comic books. However, I somehow have an immense knowledge of Batman. When Christopher Nolan was tagged as the guy who would revive the Batman franchise (he’s also currently working on the sequel, The Dark Knight), you probably had no idea who he was. I did, and I was disappointed from that day forward. Sure, I had a gleaming shimmer of hope that the guy who made the snore-a-thons Memento and Insomnia might pull something out of nowhere and do it right, but the truth is he didn’t. Whether you agree with me or not isn’t the point, the point is that Batman has an image and essence that has not yet been captured on screen, and when we all talk about how “good” Batman Begins is, we’re only trying to find reasons not to be frustrated about how much they got it wrong.

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