The Wicked Witch of the West, Gov. Sarah Palin

I’ll get you my pretty, and your little blog too!
Sarah Palin, Wicked Witch of the Northwest

I do believe a flying monkey could be considered an upgrade to a regular monkey.
John McCain, Flying Monkey

Good? Bad? I’m the guy with Photoshop.

Hahaha, ok guys, who’s the one who photoshopped Palin onto this chick’s body? … Who was it? … Anyone? … Wait, What?

Sarah Palin, VPCiLF

If you still need a reason: About Sarah Palin: A Letter From Anne Kilkenny

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5 ways to end the War on Terror

I’ve had the unfortunate experience, like over 1 billion other people, to live in a nation involved in the War on Terror. I’ve had a lot of time to think, the war started while I was still in high school, and now more than six years later it rages on. More than anything, I’ve had time to think about war, about killing, and about my country. I did this at first simply out of curiosity, but as the very real threat of a draft became plausible, I began to become concerned that nothing was being done to avoid that end.

I’ve often wondered, as with no doubt many have, about what the future may bring, how this period will end, and what the world after might look like. We live in a time where an inevitability stares us in the face, and yet we do not meet its gaze. The inevitability is a question: How will the War on Terror end, and how might we guide its end to peace and relative victory?

It will end, but how? I’ve thought about this for the better part of a decade. When the attacks on 9/11 occurred, I wondered what action the US should take in response to the aggressors. When the enemy had a name, al Qaeada, I wondered what their terms of treaty might be. When we realized the Taliban may have been in bed with our enemies, I wondered how we might force them to control their bedfellows. In other words, whereas many of my compatriots thought only of how to correct the horrors that had been done to us, I thought only of how to end the conflict to come. Even before it had a name, the War on Terror, I began study on how to end it.

It appears, that in great part, I was alone. When we knew who our aggressors were, we didn’t think about how we should react, we simply killed them. When we had a name and face to the enemy, we didn’t attempt to communicate with them as people, we simply killed them. When we knew that the Taliban government was aiding them, we didn’t try to leverage the tremendous international support we had into forcing the Taliban to respect us and control their own borders, we simply killed them.

In those six years I kept quiet because I didn’t yet have the words to express what I believed. But think, enough time has now gone by that there are children attending school who have lived their entire lives under the shadow of the War on Terror. It is for them, who have little to no hope of understanding what life was like before 9/11, that I write these 5 ways to end the War on Terror:

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Ready to throw away your risk-averse political statements yet?

Che Osama
T-shirts coming soon.

I kept seeing the image of Che Guevara on posters and stickers, people seem to be using it more as a stylized counter-culture bullshit rather than as a political statement supporting the passion of guerrilla rebellion. Then I saw a picture of Che’s face replaced with an ape from Planet of the Apes, and struggled to understand what the hell it was trying to say. (FYI: “gorilla” fighter, omfglulz).

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Russian President Vladimir Putin will rule us all. 11 reasons we’re all pawns in his game of pure badassness.

Yesterday, President Putin announced that instead of disappearing into the night after his two terms as President are up, he will instead be running for the office of Prime Minister, the head of the legislative branch in Russia, arguably the second most powerful position in Russia (soon to become the most powerful?) (source). What does this mean? It means Putin has made Russia his bitch, soon to follow: the entire world.

Putin will rule us all
(Photo NOT altered). Here, Putin enjoys in quiet contemplation how his tremendous power will allow him new and unexplored methods of obtaining more power. Showers will become power-showers, salads will become power-salads with power-dressing and power-croutons, and unrelenting blizzards of silenced popular discontent will become Tuesdays.

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Oops, I stepped on your balls. Fandom vs. Familiarity Masturbation

Have you ever had the experience where someone goes “Hey, what did you think of [movie]?” and you, being honest, go “Oh yeah, that movie sucked.” Then the person’s smile slowly fades into a sober “Oh yeah, well, I thought it was ok. What didn’t you like about it?” Ouch.

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