ZOMGZ!!?! I saws Britney! She’s so skinny!!!?!?!!

I’ve been living in Los Angeles for exactly one year this month. And to commemorate my anniversary, I was “blessed” by the Hollywood fairies with a real life sighting of the one and only Britney Spears.

I don’t need to tell you about what Britney Spears is up to, you already know, even if you didn’t want to know in the first place. She’s a common news item nowadays, a topic to bring up at the water cooler, and sadly, it’s not about her career that everyone keeps buzzin’ about, it’s about her lack of control in everything.

But I do want to share with you what it’s like to be near, around, and possibly even be Britney Spears (you’ll see what I mean by that). What I’ve realized may help explain why it’s hard for Britney to actually get her act together already and not be a complete fuck up. (Note: since this event occurred, Britney has gotten into another car accident and lost custody of her two children.) Here’s a video of the event:

I was pulling into the parking lot of a Target store, getting my mind ready to optimize my errand shopping. Suddenly, someone jumps in front of my car. I slam on my brakes, a young Filipino man holding a camera, not missing a beat, continues running towards Target as if his life depended on it. I watch curiously, thinking for a moment that some kind of hostage situation may be happening at the store. A wave of fear fills me for a moment, but as I don’t see any other sign of abnormality, I continue on my way, park my car, and walk to the store. As I near the entrance, I notice cars left with their doors open and the engines still running right in front of the entrance area. People are standing around in states of confusion, wandering around and whispering.

Someone leaving the store proudly proclaims,”Britney Spears is in the store.” I continue walking into the crowded entrance, and I am bombarded by the flash and clamor of 50-75 photographers snapping their cameras from every direction possible, yelling vehemently for Britney to look their way. The crowd of yells and clicking cameras was quickly being rushed out of the store by security and managers. As I continued into the store to get on with my shopping, I passed by people in an enthusiastic daze having just seen Britney Spears walk by them, yelling out, “OH MY GOD, THAT WAS BRITNEY, SHE’S SO SKINNY!!!” That’s when I saw her, she was trying to purchase some CD or DVD in the entertainment section, surrounded by a very unenthusiastic bored-looking entourage, not a single one identifiable as a close friend. As I passed by, a very vocal middle aged black woman loudly encouraged others to “leave that poor girl alone because she’s been through enough!”

I then continued my shopping, paid for my purchases and left the store filled with people still abuzz with the fact that a huge celebrity just graced everyone with her presence. Of course there’s the obvious things of note: “Why is Britney Spears at a Target?” or “Why is she behind the wheel so much when she’s so prone to accidents?” But beyond that, there’s the effect that Britney Spears’ presence, or the presence of any celebrity of her stature, has on everyone around them. There’s a change of atmosphere that’s electric and tangibly charged where ever she goes. Her mere presence stops everyone in their tracks, and suddenly all attention/conversation/eyeballs/flashing light bulbs are on her. If you’re just a bystander, it’s like having witnessed a natural disaster and having survived to tell about it. As much as I don’t care about what Britney Spears is up to, I found myself swept up in all the commotion, not because I really care about Britney Spears, but because there is literally an atmosphere change that happens if you walk within a certain radius of this girl. Britney Spears + crowd = contagious excitement.

This is all fine and dandy for the commoners and bystanders who get to catch a close-up glimpse of this “celeb” and add a little excitement in their otherwise mundane lives. But I can only imagine what incomprehensible confusion is happening to the woman herself. Is she causing this atmosphere change? Or is it everyone else around her? She’s followed literally day and night by paparazzi yelling for her to look their way, vying for her attention, telling her she’s beautiful, demanding she return attention to them, asking about her children, clothes, hair, ex-husband, shoes, earrings, weight, diet, what she’s going out for and where she’s going, who she’s meeting there, who her companions are, and what her opinion on current events are. Sure, she uses the attention here and there to fulfill some fantasy or narcissism, but 95% of the time, it’s just a confusing blur of annoying useless shit happening whether she wants it or not. Imagine one sweaty Filipino guy obsessed with every facet of your life, now imagine every loser asshole you’ve ever met constantly talking to you when you’re outside. Your opinion of people, men, and yourself and your identity would be markedly altered for the worse. But of course, we keep checking in on where she’s at, so that the media can’t help but stalk her everywhere she goes.

After my encounter with this radius of Britney, I’m not too surprised that she gets caught doing so many ridiculous things. It’s not easy to be on your guard at every moment of your life and never have a moment to get away from that. In fact, the constant flurry of attention would get to your nerves and you’d end up making more mistakes. Sure, there are things that Britney could do to get out of the constant media limelight, but my guess is that she’s become accustomed and addicted to the attention she gets every time she leaves her house.

I’m not sympathizing with Britney’s predicament or any big celebs caught in the media’s close attention, but I can somewhat empathize.

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2 Responses to “ZOMGZ!!?! I saws Britney! She’s so skinny!!!?!?!!”

  1. Camila Says:

    So is being papparazzi to film what porn is to an actor?

  2. Ines Mon Says:

    lol I Just love Britey She’s So talented

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