An Introduction to Love and Relationships

Posted by admin on August 14th, 2007 in Advice / How To, Love, Relationships

Love and Relationships (Part 1): An Introduction

Love can take a lifetime to truly understand. And sometimes a lifetime isn’t even enough. Maybe that’s why so many of us are pretty impatient about our love life, either rushing into or out of relationships that we didn’t give a fair chance for success from the beginning.

For many, love and relationships are the measure by which they judge their happiness, their connection to the world, and their value to the people around them. For every fickle lover going through potential mates more frequently than they buy new shoes, there’s just as many people who look at a relationship as simply the next step in becoming “mature,” tying themselves to someone, anyone, who matches an arbitrary shortlist of characteristics, and who happens to bear their company. And even in all the infinite variations of lovers and leavers that make up these two groups and all the groups in between, few would genuinely or readily claim to be “in love.”

So we end up with a small few who have what can only be called “success“ in love. Or more accurately, somewhat more experience in their understanding of this complicated emotion. As a twenty-something eligible, I’ve seen my share of failed relationships, misunderstandings and missed opportunities in the love lives of those closest to me. A few are still fresh enough to still raise a flurry of emotions in myself and the other onlookers; relief that I wasn’t involved, pity of the partner who got the short end of the deal, but most often sadness for the loss of what could have been.

In a way, the love life many face resembles what the movies always explain prison to be like; show assertion early on, get allied quick, and maintain loyalty, or fall by the wayside and be ready to get knocked around. In this battleground, I’ve had what could only be called tremendous luck. I found someone early, and was able to make it stick, we fell in love, and lived happily ever after.

Well that’s how many of my friends see it anyways. While movie characters can live the rest of their idealized lives in the imagination of the audience while the credits roll, us real people have to actually live with the decisions we’ve made. After only a short while, all sorts of questions inevitably arise. Who is this person? Why are they here, and what do they want from me? We look at each other through giant telescopes, standing far away, wondering what the other must be thinking, wondering if we’re living up to expectations, wondering what it’d be ok to ask of them. Inevitably, all sorts of new questions arise after this stage. Who am I? What am I doing here, and what do I want?

Love, and having to deal with being in a relationship, has changed me in more ways than I can count, and for the most part, has made me who I am today. Most of my understanding of love comes from my own relationship, which has lasted the better part of a decade.

But I’ve also learned a great deal from listening to what those friends closest to me share about their failed or successful relationships, information that can only be called what it is: delicious fresh gossip. And while I don’t presume to be a professional in the subject of love, and no matter how much I don’t seem to be doing anything particularly outstanding, I’ve somehow become an informal guide on love and relationships to those close to me less fortunate in the matter. I find myself repeating again and again, my take on love to my friends, male and female, and for the most part, my advice has helped them better understand the subject themselves.

I’m going to share my knowledge here in hopes it may help you and those who may ultimately ask you for advice in the matter. Hopefully, I can keep you interested in the things I’ve learned by being more specific and detailed than many other authors who’ve written on the subject. And if these articles aren’t exactly the info you’re looking for, I hope you’ll be able to read some, then step away from it and laugh.

POSTS IN THIS SERIES:

Love and Relationships (Part 1): An Introduction

Love and Relationships (Part 2): The Phases Leading to a Meaningful Relationship

Love and Relationships (Part 3): Communication

Love and Relationships (Part 4): Independence vs. Relationships

Love and Relationships (Part 5): The Couple’s Accountability System

Love and Relationships (Part 6): Finding the Right Person

Love and Relationships (Part 7): The Clueless Lover

Love and Relationships (Part 8): The Relationships Virgin

Love and Relationships (Part 9): Don’t Give Up!

Don’t Give Up!

Finding the Right Person